


WhAT MAKES me BEAFUL

by efichu



Category: Gravity Falls, Professional Wrestling, Shrek Series, Wake Me Up - Avicii (Music Video), X reader - Fandom, john CEENAAAAA, meme - Fandom, prince charming - Fandom, prince charming x reader - Fandom
Genre: John Cena - Freeform, M/M, Meme, Multi, Shrek - Freeform, Tumblr, protexon, use condoms
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-28
Updated: 2016-11-26
Packaged: 2018-05-03 20:22:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5305562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/efichu/pseuds/efichu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>john cena, wairting foår his dream prince daddy lemon man sherk the prince of sweden</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [vladimir obama](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=vladimir+obama), [we luv u buddy<3](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=we+luv+u+buddy%26lt%3B3).



> this is a very serious fanfic and our first one, please leave kudos and love <3<3<33<3<3 we apparecaiate everu2 of u gus

garage hard lemonade/ shrek x john cena/mature/ what's up

thi s one time john cena had a really bad day. the worst day in centurieS. uu. he threw EVRY singl trespass3r on THE GROUND!! bcz he was rly rly mad meme man..........   
ther was some1 else who ahd rly rly bad and rad day and that some1 was shrek. he treid to take a sh** in his own WC shack in his own swamp but the sh just didnt come out. untol, JEHN COMA came. he came,. to ReSQUE lil baby kitten shrek. shrk ws realy mad bcz he couldtn take a sh but john came a nd threw him to th groynd and the green beast had a rly massive fart that made the swamp go upside down. the gravity falls .

but babel mines wasnt there, only john cena, wairting foår his dream prince daddy lemon man sherk the prince of sweden. 

bt back to th3 storu   
anyway 

yes howevre. now avicii the swedish man paid a vvvisit on a THRUSDAY becuxz he wantd to bang bang shreke deddyu TOO. john cheena there4 had sum competition..... he was NAH goin let dis swede gay fagrt get in his way and he THERW HIM TO GRND AND YeLLED MY T1ME IS NW !!!!! AVIcii answered: i found him in tinder suspprise, adn IVE BEEN waiting wOR OGRE LOVR 

Shreka now tired to mak3 the 2 2 listn 2 him but they started tossing vengaboyS we liek to parthy. dey sang it all lit, man, there was som ANIMALISTIC ACTION like in discoevr chamel. the y also danced macarena 

shrek didnt knwo what he should do now when demi loVATO emerged frm the WC shack and said "ithink i have a heartattaaaAAAAAAACK" SHerk then called ambulance for himslf becaus his boner had grown so supermassive it barely fitetd in the wsampn and jphn china was tryina giv him a bj buT no!NO SAID SHREK,. THSI IS WROGN 

ambualne was driven by vladimir obama our local pizza boy every2 loved ???wow  
thsi is realy cofunsing said jehn cheetah and puled shreks supermasSIve cockaroo away adn shrek watvhed him and started to cri beacus he was so beaful and kawaii:) sugoi! shrek screamed in excitement.

then thewy had s*x and forgot to us3 protexon so shrek died in aids-. rip

#REMEMBERCONDOMS


	2. SHHREKQUEL

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we JSTU notizd it has been almost a year sinz WHAT MAKES me BEAFUL and we just GOT A COMMISSION!!!!! to write prince charming x reader so heres a new piece for every2 of you to enj0y <3

alrighy alrighty let US beg1n this heartbrakeing storu of a young, charming, sexy pervert and YOU, OUR DEAR READER! it is all abt you

ok then

U R clubbing w ye m8s @ the gay bar dun dudud udduud. out of the corner of your eye you spot him: shia labaoufff. and next to him you see Prince CHarming, being his perverted charmy self (note: charmign) in the cornner of the room. the musicsc are gone wild and yall be dancing to the beat when he suddenlyn pulls out something..... hmm

WAT IS DAT=? you say DONT TELL he says

you decisdxe not to say a, WORD. bcuz prins charmigne is ... the CHA;RIMING! the total-smex and u canrr resist him

shia labeouf startz FIDDLIN on his shiny Vióline, but you dont caer.e the moment riht now is that u need to keep the secret. you are willing to die for it. its gonna be a bumpy ride,...... you want to dance with somebody and pinrnece charming calls to you: (readers name), dance wiht me

HOW do you know my name=? you ask seductively, and prince harming winks at you. i stole your credit card a month ago ewhen you first came here

okay... you say and look for your wallet: its gone! DARN the police!

prince charming is so charming you forigve him immedateily and lean in 4 a smooch. he dosnet giv u 1. ur disappoint.

its getting awkward. hes waiting for you to dance with him but you, YOU, ltreid to smooch him. shame on you. yo u then disappear into the dark void of embarrassment büt come back soon enough, now willing to fulfill his request and boogie woogie dancing shoes with him (maybe yeull get a #smooch l8r.)

you start to dance and Promiscuous by Nelly Fursuiter starts åplayiing. THIS is my FAVVOOORITE JAM squeals prince charming and you look into his charming, pervy eyes. oceean blue, they say. you agree with them, hoever they arrr. bible

this is gettin REAL you think as the prince moves closer to you, singing alogn to the lyrics by Nele Fursuitlover, and you start getting really excited and moist. its almost unbeliavabele -OH! you can hear his tiny cold heart ALMOST beeting but soon you realise the beating comes from his Telephone. his mom is calling to him, he tolds you to stay shushhh and not tell about the sekret™ you 2 shrare. you tell him well of course not you prick. he then looks at yuo, not sure how to feel about your words. you confront hinm with your sexy, drunk, glare and he burps.

WTF?????

you two deccide to move away from teh dancefloor and suddenly SHREKA comes out of noewhere and drops the sickest dab of the year. this award-winning dab is famous. yes. but wait. how can shrek be in the dancefloor if he died of aids in the first chapter? noone nose........

but remember, the secret? you dont know it yet, dont you? you might feel a litle dukmb you little fuck haha lol

okay lol jk this part will thell you.... promiscuous finally starts playing again, oh WAIT its on repeat now, oh sh*t! okay, so, prince charminang takes your hand and pulls you out of the crowd. you are really excited, will he dinally end your suffering and thell the secret? Oh, the agony, your whole body wishes he woyld do so. he then pulls out something... from his pants... a pulge.... he asks you to close your eyes. you do so.

he then pulls IT out... you can feel the excitement fill yer ebvery soul and you van finally open your eyes. its fairydust, the most hardcore weed in the whole (lazy) town of jar jar away. OH GOLLY JEEPERS you moan fighting the tears in ur eys.. "drugs are the DEVIL" you say under your breath. but this makes u thingk. if pringles darling likes the weeds then mayb its not EVIL? mayBE? this new thought gets you thinking... and before you know he puts some in hyour eyes.

you cant see. its pitch (perfevt) black. but then the another one bites the dust and the fairydust kicks in. yu are in nederland. (often mistaken with neverland!) but peter pan is not with you. you can just smell the tulips and hear the windmills. theres nothing else. except you got somethinbg stuck in your throat so you van gogh gogh. sneez

you dont know how muchtime has passed, when you wake up in a dank (unpleasantly damp and cold) waterbed. you try to find your wallet, but you vcant. yoo search thrhroughtht the room adn see that prince chanming has dosed himself up real time,,.. he is singing the song of death... he is dying.

your eyz tear up from joy, you don t know why joy, bt you cant help it! is this the real life, or is this jus fantasy???? you gett up from the waterbed and walkietalkie to the boi. he looks up at you. Fuck you, he wheezes. - Why didd you take my wallet? you ask him, crying.

his mind is starting to get goodbye everybody ive got to go... you get closer and even though princ of bel-air tries to stoP you, you force a smooch in his eyeballs. your bugger also drips on his blonde beutisauful eybrowns. AND HE YELLS MAMMA MIA LET ME GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo with three different tones at the same time, his voice making a synthetique sound. its beaful. before our great prince farming takes his final breath, he

sorry we didnt come up with anything so he just died of overdose of fartydust. #DONTDODRUGS


End file.
